Tuesday, September 7, 2010

At My Funeral…

Sorry for the morbid post but it would kill me *lol* to not let you all know what I need from you at my funeral I were to die suddenly.

1- Would love to be mummified but that’s probably too much trouble so I’ll stick to the burial. Oo! A burial at sea would be awesome too. On second thought, I can’t swim and I’m not a water person. So yes, normal land burial it is.

2 - If my organs can be donated, please do.

3 - I want my tombstone to be nothing short of fabulous. And no sappy words! I want funny. I            know I have plenty of creative friends. One of you will come up with something.

4 - Please do NOT wear black/white/baby pink to my funeral. I’d much rather you wore normal, colorful clothes.

5 - I’ve thought of photos but crying people…or dead people for that matter don’t make for pretty photos.

6 -There has to be a post funeral party. With balloons and flowers around pretty photos of me. And my favorite music playing in the background.In P.S I Love You style, I want each of you to say something nice about me. Photos at the post  funeral party are permitted.

7 - The last time I went to a funeral, people formed a line to offer their condolences to the deceased’s family. I think it’s kind of mean to form a queue (What is this? Walmart?) especially to say “I’m sorry” to people who are already devastated. You cannot make it better. So leave my family alone. Unless of course you bump into them in which case you are allowed to say your sorry. Although, unless you are the reason I died, I don’t see why you should be sorry. Maybe you can stick to “She was wonderful” instead.

8 - Change my Facebook status to “Palwasha N. Minhas is dead”. And delete all of my pictures. One of you will be lucky enough to have my password. If I die suddenly without having given anyone the password, figure it out. My sister should be able to help with this. 

9 - As for my possessions, my leftover money will go to my sisters. As will my laptop/laptops. My camera will go to Ali to add to his collection. My books will go to Sana, as she loves them as much as I do. She will also get my stationery. As for my clothes, shoes, other secret items you may or may not find in my closet :D , take whatever you want and give the rest to charity. My diaries…Ideally, I would like them to be passed on from generation to generation. If I do not have children at the time of my death, they will go to my sister who can then pass it on. Imagine as future generations marvel at my chronicles and use my words of wisdom *ahem* to live their lives … As for hidden documents on my laptop, I’d like them to go unread as they were deep rooted secrets and thoughts and are not meant to be shared. 

10 - Don’t forget to save a hair and a nail for DNA purposes so that in case technology ever advances enough to re-create dead humans, you will have the pleasure of my company once again! Woot!

That’s as much as I can remember right now. If I do think of something else, I’ll add it in. If you can think of something else that I might need to add, let me know. Btw, this is not intended to be dark humor (Okay maybe a little). But this is seriously what I want for my funeral and this is what is to be considered as my will incase I die an untimely death and do not have an actual will.


NidalM said...

Lets make a deal: I'll come to your funeral if you come to mine!

Sami Saayer said...

lol @ the comment above. its a nice post. i will take this idea for my next post too.
oh btw, wouldn't you want a few things to be deleted from your mail account or computer?

Bea said...

nice one.. one must always make preparations..

Divaa Divine said...

awesomenessssss over pour!

girl! your FB status should be a little more creative! :P

but never the less a terrific post and frankly quite full of LIFE :D

Vanessa said...

I like the idea of trying to have as celebratory and brightly-colored a funeral as possible.

0mairkhalid said...

u forgot one thing..... u shud say cheese before ur soul is captured ...so that u get a smiling death :)n ppl may say and she died smiling ever after :)