Sunday, September 26, 2010


She was babbling. Talking too fast, words rushing out on top on one another to fill the silence between them, rushing from one end of the room to the other, trying to keep busy…  Except when she turned around, he was right there, too close, and all too real raising a finger to place against her lips…

Ssshhhhhh love.

"Is it really necessary to say all these words when all you need to do is feel this?

and a hand lifted her palm to where his heart beat in a reassuring rhythm…

"Do we really need to speak when all that is real can be felt?" 

..and gentle fingers caressed her face, brushing down her hair to clasp her waist to draw her closer

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Random thoughts triggered by serial Malaal - Mature Love

A racing heart is an alarming symptom, along with all those other clichéd expressions like butterflies in the stomach, palpitating palms, knees buckling or turning to jelly, pudding, trifle (or whatever dessert u fancy) and incoherent speech (disjointed sentences, obvious grammatical errors, stammering, stuttering, spitting). If a certain someone has that affect on you, then you are most definitely...not in love..but in trouble. You would very conveniently try to overlook the most glaring of his flaws and magnify even the most nonexistent qualities and even if the object of your affections has not been blessed, then you would make an utmost effort to turn his vices into virtues. This is what obsession/infatuation does to you. You chase an idea, not a person, you are enthralled by the feeling and a not a human being. Sometimes it was simply the magic of that moment which held you spellbound, sometimes someone just catches you when you are your most vulnerable self and sometimes you are just being a plain idiot and willingly take a nosedive into the ditch. 

But I don’t want to talk about this...i want to talk about Mature Love...the dull, steady, predictable, stable like the waters of a lake, very unlike the infatuation which is like the gushing river, meandering its way down the valley, moving with great speed and zeal washing away everything that comes in the way. At that time you feel life is your canvas, and the possibilities are endless, you can move the brush in any direction and the painting would turn out pretty. You are spontaneous, impulsive and unstoppable. It is only when you reach a certain age, you realize in your haste, how you have smeared the colors on the sketch and how you have bruised yourself blue by speeding on that gravelly path. Anyways so I am digressing again…Mature love with its still and serene waters. Its boring alright, but I think it is only after some time and a couple of bad decisions later, you begin to realize boring is synonymous to stable, and stability is the only thing that holds you firmly on the ground. We may fall in love with bitches and bad boys, but we need a man/woman with character, principles and a stable head to move forward (especially if we ourselves happen to be psychotic, obsessive, impulsive and bi-polar). We need compatibility and comfort, as opposed to chemistry, which is completely ephemeral and can be blamed on hormones more than anything else. We need someone to think rationally, someone who has an ability to know exactly how to handle a crisis situation, someone who has the patience to listen to your sometimes wild, sometimes interesting, sometimes totally outrageous ideas without judging you but most importantly he should have the strength to stand by you and defend you fiercely if you are wronged, but at the same time having the power to alter you, when you are wrong yourself, without being imposing. I think it is almost impossible to find someone with a wild streak, a stable mind and principled heart. And if you also manage to fall in love with such a man/woman, than it may actually be mature love. You are not judging the strength of your emotion by how many times your heart skips a beat or how often he/she leaves you short of breath. There is something far more significant, poignant and most importantly lasting in that relationship. You share the same fundamentals, ideas and perspective on life, religion, career, family and love. In mature love it’s so much easier to tune yourself to the same frequency, and once you have that, then your idea of romance changes. You know what the person is thinking about even while sitting across the room. The secret smile on his/her face would be interpretable by you alone, even in a roomful of people. Having the power to complete someone’s sentences and enjoying companionship even in silence, without having to fill it constantly with meaningless banter. 

However, having said that and painting the most idealistic image of this let me tells you why it’s still so rare, because this requires effort, time and patience. This is not something that you will get on a silver platter, it’s something you will have to find, and it exists in the most unlikely places. Most of us will complain about never coming across a love so profound, and that’s not because something as perfect as that doesnt exist but because we don’t know where to look for it.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

At My Funeral…

Sorry for the morbid post but it would kill me *lol* to not let you all know what I need from you at my funeral I were to die suddenly.

1- Would love to be mummified but that’s probably too much trouble so I’ll stick to the burial. Oo! A burial at sea would be awesome too. On second thought, I can’t swim and I’m not a water person. So yes, normal land burial it is.

2 - If my organs can be donated, please do.

3 - I want my tombstone to be nothing short of fabulous. And no sappy words! I want funny. I            know I have plenty of creative friends. One of you will come up with something.

4 - Please do NOT wear black/white/baby pink to my funeral. I’d much rather you wore normal, colorful clothes.

5 - I’ve thought of photos but crying people…or dead people for that matter don’t make for pretty photos.

6 -There has to be a post funeral party. With balloons and flowers around pretty photos of me. And my favorite music playing in the background.In P.S I Love You style, I want each of you to say something nice about me. Photos at the post  funeral party are permitted.

7 - The last time I went to a funeral, people formed a line to offer their condolences to the deceased’s family. I think it’s kind of mean to form a queue (What is this? Walmart?) especially to say “I’m sorry” to people who are already devastated. You cannot make it better. So leave my family alone. Unless of course you bump into them in which case you are allowed to say your sorry. Although, unless you are the reason I died, I don’t see why you should be sorry. Maybe you can stick to “She was wonderful” instead.

8 - Change my Facebook status to “Palwasha N. Minhas is dead”. And delete all of my pictures. One of you will be lucky enough to have my password. If I die suddenly without having given anyone the password, figure it out. My sister should be able to help with this. 

9 - As for my possessions, my leftover money will go to my sisters. As will my laptop/laptops. My camera will go to Ali to add to his collection. My books will go to Sana, as she loves them as much as I do. She will also get my stationery. As for my clothes, shoes, other secret items you may or may not find in my closet :D , take whatever you want and give the rest to charity. My diaries…Ideally, I would like them to be passed on from generation to generation. If I do not have children at the time of my death, they will go to my sister who can then pass it on. Imagine as future generations marvel at my chronicles and use my words of wisdom *ahem* to live their lives … As for hidden documents on my laptop, I’d like them to go unread as they were deep rooted secrets and thoughts and are not meant to be shared. 

10 - Don’t forget to save a hair and a nail for DNA purposes so that in case technology ever advances enough to re-create dead humans, you will have the pleasure of my company once again! Woot!

That’s as much as I can remember right now. If I do think of something else, I’ll add it in. If you can think of something else that I might need to add, let me know. Btw, this is not intended to be dark humor (Okay maybe a little). But this is seriously what I want for my funeral and this is what is to be considered as my will incase I die an untimely death and do not have an actual will.

Friday, September 3, 2010


Dreams are always crushing when they don't come true.
 But it's the simple dreams that are often the most painful 
because they seem so personal, so reasonable, so attainable. You're always close enough to touch, but never quite close enough to hold and it's enough to break your heart.

— Nicholas Sparks

Thursday, September 2, 2010

I be you.

... I 
want to take your breath away like a secret 
present unto me alone, be the well of your happinesses 
I want to call you when I hurt, look up into your 
eyes when I wake, take your tears and turn them into 
laughter I want to be 
the only one you see when I enter a room 
the one you call first with the good news 
the keeper of your secrets, the treasurer of 
your soul, I want you to be 
the light in my eyes, the lilt 
in my voice...