Saturday, June 5, 2010

Are you where you were meant to be?

Am I where I was meant to be? No, let’s rephrase that question: Am I where others thought I would be? How does it matter what others think, but when they tell you that they never thought you would be doing this now and here, you begin to wonder – where did they think I would be?



Last night, over a long conversation with a cousin, it came up, this line about ‘I never thought you would be doing this, living like that.’ And I started thinking of how I’ve actually lived my life in defiance of most expectations of me, unintentionally though. I haven’t lived up to the idea of ‘me’ that various people formed in their heads. How funny, no?


How strange that all of those people have different pictures of me. How did I morph into so many things at the same time and none of them at all?

When I was young, very foolish and very young, I wanted to be nothing but rich. Actually, I always wanted to be well-educated and rich. Polished and rich. Knowledgeable and rich. Smart and rich. And I never then thought I would work to be rich! Somewhere down the line the idea of financial independence took hold in my head and I wanted to do something. I had no idea what I could do to be rich, but I knew that the one thing I could do reasonably well was write. Things fell into place and I started writing. I was still not rich. I gave up writing after some time to be rich. Now I'm neither rich nor a full time writer! Of course, I'm still trying my luck at both! I always wanted to be my own boss and at least, that I am.

How come I ended up doing everything I was not meant to? And yet, it never occurs to me till someone points it out to me...

Of course, we rarely live our lives that way we thought we would as kids. What did you want to be when you were a child? What did others think you would be? Are you there?



4 comments:

Abstractor! said...

that thought is so true, i can so much relate to it :)

Vanessa said...

I always wanted to be something in the medical field (veterinarian, then later medical examiner), and I ended up deciding on journalism. Quite the switch! I figured out in my freshman year of college that medical school just wasn't right for me, and now I'm more than happy with that.

Sakib Ahmad said...

Not sure what you are asking. Seems to me that the words that you have used are simply a wrapper for a deeper question you do not know how to ask.

Life is, or ought to be, a voyage of self-discovery. If, at the outset, you or others around you have got the journey all mapped out, where is the wonder – and the subsequent onrush of joy - of discovery? Just carry on as you are but do try to be on your guard: keep your eyes and ears – the inner ones just as much as those that decorate the face – open and do seek wisdom.

Nikita said...

Hmm...i too wanted to be a doctor when i was a kid..Now I am working as a Marketing Executive but I want to be a writer..sigh...