I’m in a haze, a daze, with a mishmash of thoughts and emotions swirling in my head. There has been so much that has been happening.. good, bad, sad… that just can’t seem to find a mood to set up home in. Even for a few hours! So, I’m fairly certain that it will be reflected in the randomness of my thoughts this week, so please bear with me.
These kind of times are hugely contradictory… they drain you physically and mentally yet those same moments give you the extra adrenalin to surge ahead. Is this making any sense? Maybe not… but penning it down seems to be making the situation better.
Writing, I’ve discovered, is therapeutic. It has always been my creativity outlet. It’s what relaxes me and comes somewhat effortlessly to me. Although these days, I find no greater challenge than trying to mix words with pleasure. Writer’s block is painful enough, but when you have too much to write about and suffer from cerebral constipation, it’s excruciating.
My left brain is not speaking to my right brain. I’m not sure if they are fighting or if it’s just a technical difficulty, a dropped signal. Whatever the case may be, I would like them to reopen the lines of communication. Because quite frankly, I can’t take the court jester in my head anymore. The one that keeps laughing hysterically as he slaps me upside the back of my skull with my own Moleskine. It’s not helping my creative writing juices to flow again. It’s simply causing a blood clot. I’m secretly wishing for brain hemorrhage to occur. To bleed it all out, so I can write it all out.